I am still trying to sort out how I feel about this. I was once again wondering around the internet when within a hour of each other I found this wonderful talk between Emma Watson and Malala Yousafzai and then, Lauren Southern’s Why I am not a Feminist.
It was such a bizarre juxtapose to come across in such a short period of time. What’s I found funny about Lauren’s post about men being victims is that this is part of what Emma was talking about in her UN address back in September of 2014. Yes men and absolutely victims as well. Equally it about getting to that point, about seeing that men can be and are in the same position as women. So that’s the thing Lauren, Feminist is supposed to by a synonym of Equality. That is what is trying to happen.
I tried to watch some of Lauren’s other videos and I couldn’t really make it through. One in particular about how we aren’t living in a rape culture… While yes the situation is far worse in other places in the world, the United States in particular, still has far to go. Including making people more aware of male rape, the women can be the aggressors and rapists. Men have to be willing to step up to this as well on both sides. I am not sitting here trying to blame anyone, but if you don’t speak out, how can anybody know what’s happening? How can we help?
A great friend of mine had my sign up for an awareness day, it was a Day of Silence. I walked around all day with a shirt that say, “Silence can kill” I didn’t speak for 24 hours. It was incredibly difficult, I let all of my teachers know the day before I did it and still I had people come up and try to get my to talk. I had flyers explaining what I was doing. Some of them thought it was funny. I had one girl come up and hug me. I had other people rip up the papers in my face and tell me I was going to hell. It made it that much harder to realize that there are people out there who do stay silent for whatever reason voluntary. It could be out of fear or…I don’t know what else it could be, mistaken love or shame. I don’t feel like people should have to be ashamed of who they are.
I also ran into this, I believe this woman as very right so say “fuck off, why should I smile?” I’ve been in this position before, working at a fair with an inebriated person, or on public transportation come up to me and tell me I should smile. I couple times, I might of smiled back because it almost seemed like a compliment, but when you’re tired, been working a long day and you just want to be left alone, no matter who are you, you should have a right so say fuck off in any manner you please.
I have also been in the position of, should I stay or should I go now? Should I stay and deal with this shit storm, (aka my decisions to get into fights on the internet) ? Or is it better and safer for me just to walk away?
In one particularly stupid moment of my teen years, I very nearly got into a fight at the mall, (yes for a short period of time I was a mall rat forgive me), this guy though my friend was eyeballing him, he was gay, he was checking him out. While my friend wasn’t an aggressive person, I wasn’t having much of this guys shit. Him and his girlfriends started to yell at me. At this time I was a little punk kid, I had not problem throwing down, but I got lucky. Basically this guy who was older who overheard the whole thing and distracted long enough for me to realize this was stupid and we needed to leave. I looked over and say my Dad pulling up to pick me and my friend up, so was walked away without being noticed. It could have put myself in a terrible situation that day, three on one is never a very good thing, but I used to be a little bit of a hot head. I had been so angry for that time, but I could have done some truly stupid things.
Tangent:1, back to the topic.
It’s so disheartening to see some of this, there is so much hope in this world and we forgot about what we could be possible. One bad apple as the saying goes.
Last night also got an email about the cancellation of the Harassment Online panel for SXSW, there is a women who is trying to reach out to females to express their reaction and frustrations with this event.(It should be noted now that they is discussions there might be for a online seminar for this subject). It was strange that my first thought was conflicted, mostly because I don’t do a lot of online gaming. I am more of a tabletop, RPG, board gaming girl. I have definitely experienced online harassment as a woman. I have played a couple games where I declined to use a mic because I didn’t want to deal with the fall out of the, “ooo a girl!” I haven’t decided if I am going to contact them or not. I am not sure if my experiences are what they’re looking for. There is a brilliant book out there that deals with some of things, which is amazing if your interested, For the Win by Cory Doctorow.
Sometimes I sit here thinking how trivial all of this sounds, but then I think about what this world might be like if I just watched the world go by.
I also like to think about what if we just removed gender come our lives completely, just like a twilight zone episode, you wake but and anybody is androgynous. How would our culture be completely thrown for a loop? Well I mean how would our perceptions just change? What would become our priorities? It was really funny last night I was lucky enough to go to Star Talk Live, it was pretty amazing. They were talking about creativity about our brains works. Towards the end one of this wonderful talk, one of the panelests, a female professor said, “Well you know, so much of our brain space is taken up by sex.” How much of our brain exactly she didn’t go into it, but it’s true. It’s apart of our base instincts to think about sex and reproduction, we wouldn’t be here if it wasn’t. And I mean come on, women think about sex just as much as men, we just think of it with a different view.
I guess my round about question is, when did that shift happen? When did gender roles start to become mandatory? I can’t really see a cave person going, “Well once every full moon you bleed between your legs, you must suck a hunting, you stay here. And you’ll always stay here even though when you don’t bleed, you are the best hunter we have.” No. I just can’t see that flying. Yes material instincts are also very high, but so are paternal. That is why evolutionary, babies are supposed to look more like the Father. Smart move evolution. I have know some very nurture men, and some very neglect women. I guess some people would through nature vs. nurture in here as argument of why it changed. It really boils down to that fact that it’s a missing link moment. There are two actually; the moment it became the norm and the moment it became expected. There is a difference between those two, that difference might seem insignificant, but it’s HUGE.
I am going to backtrack a little and got back to my last post, about the wage gap myth. It happened again, I just can’t help myself, somebody saying something isn’t true when there are a remarkable amount of facts that back it all up. And I even have my own experience as well. Six months ago, I quit my job of three years and when I did they prompted the guy I trained and had only been working there a year. They gave him a better title than the one I had, I had been championing for a better job title for a little over a year after two people quit and one person was fired, I started doing all of their jobs. When that happened, they gave me about a dollar raise from what I was making, which I still feel like they should have given me more. So they also gave him a raise that was higher than how much I had been making. It was about 50 cents more, but 50 cents makes a big difference when you are working 60 hour weeks. Then the really big kicker was he had to doing less than I had been because they split more of my responsibility between him and two other people.The wage gap is not a myth, I have lived it.
I know I was kind of all over the place to day, but that’s kind of my state of mind right now. Next time I will try to stay more on topic. Got to dash, hope you found something enlightening.